The Evolution of My Mommy Look

Before I became a mother:
I had waist length hair with a zig zag part that I usually kept away from my face with a hair clip, I used to wear bohemian gypsy clothing (think long flowy skirts, tie dye and leather sandals). I wore a wide assortment of silver jewelry including dangly earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets and toe rings on both feet.


After my first child was born:
I lived in maternity cargo pants, nursing tank tops and flip flops. I kept my hair the same but drastically cut back on the jewelry, anything that a baby hand could hold on to and yank was taken off. My cute earrings were replaced by tiny studs that baby couldn’t try to take off, my toe rings were cut off when my feet swelled up at the end of pregnancy and never replaced. Oftentimes the look would be completed by wearing a baby or having a baby latched on.

After my second child was born:

Very similar to my original post partum look but I favored the yoga pants more. I got sick of having long hair that I didn’t show off so I cut over a foot off and had shoulder length hair. The most pampering I did was putting henna on my hair. My definition of accessorizing is wearing a teething necklace


After my youngest child became a toddler:
I alternate between yoga pants, cargo pants and will wear jeans on Saturdays. I finally bought my first pair of regular work pants since having children. I will wear any shirt that is comfortable and the Ahh bra is my favorite over any other bra. I will occasionally wear jewelry other than my wedding ring and amber necklace but still keep it simple. I cut another 9 inches off my hair and I am actually enjoying how it looks without me having to do anything other than wash it, unfortunately this means that I can no longer go for years without a hair cut. There is an increasing amount of salt to my pepper hair but it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.


Trying to reclaim my fashion identity
I have actually tried to get back into the wrap skirts and long flowing skirts but between the kids trying to hide under my skirts, the wind blowing wrap skirts open while my hands are busy holding toddler hands and the trip hazard from carrying laundry up the stairs while wearing a long skirts…. it’s just not practical.

My body went through a lot of changes during both of my pregnancies some of which are permanent. I still carry a lot of pregnancy weight that I haven’t done much to try to shed. Losing weight after Shammy wasn’t so hard but with Zen there seems to be zero improvement. It may just be because now I am in my 30′s and my metabolism has slowed down. While I don’t eat as much as I used to in my 20′s, I don’t count calories and I am constantly hungry and have to eat a bowl of cereal right before bed or I get so hungry I can’t sleep. As it is some nights I end up having to get up in the middle of the night to drink a glass of milk so my stomach will “shut up” because the hunger pangs and rumbling wake me up and keep me from going back to sleep.

The combination of 2 pregnancies and c-sections has left me with a condition called Diastasis Recti in which there is a gap in the muscles in my abdominal wall so I still have a “belly”. While I don’t care so much about the cosmetic effect of it, the gap causes my organs to shift and changes my center of gravity so I deal with back pain and gastrointestinal issues as a result.

I feel like I am aging faster as well, I guess that after a decade of not noticing much changes I suddenly look in the mirror and compare to a picture from 3 years ago and I look so much different and not for the better. But thankfully I have never been very concerned about my appearance so while it’s sometimes a little disconcerting, it doesn’t bother me too much.

Potty Training Blues

So far my least favorite aspect of parenting is potty training.  The fact that I am dealing with a stubborn toddler doesn’t help.  It’s probably karma for not taking advantage when Shammy showed readiness cues when he was about 20 months old.  Unfortunately back then I was pregnant with Zen, on pelvic rest and all of the advice that I got was that potty training then would most likely lead to a regression when the baby was born and I didn’t want to have to do it twice with one child so I decided to wait.

Fast forward almost 2 years and I have a 3.5 year old that hates underwear and is attached to his “bootcovers” as we call the diapers.  We’ve read many potty books, have several potty DVD’s, he follows me and daddy to the bathroom, we have an assortment of potties in the living room and training seat in the bathroom, I encourage him regularly to use the potty, every time I change a diaper I say “peepee and poopy go in the potty”, we have a potty sticker chart, I have a basket of dollar store toys as rewards and have even used cookies and chocolates as incentives all with limited to no success.  I have read books and parenting websites on the subject and I haven’t learned anything new from any of them.

The only thing I haven’t tried is naked time because he doesn’t like being naked and asks for a diaper and because I don’t look forward to having to clean messes from the furniture and floor; besides, I don’t think it would help with his personality.

A few weeks ago he would at least humor me and sit in the potty for a while, do nothing and proceed to fill his diaper after it was back on.  Then he would sit less often but when he did we had some successes.  Last Saturday he surprised us by asking to go potty at the store, I felt like I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and since then…..nothing, nada, zilch.

I am trying not to stress and tell myself that each child develops at their own pace but it’s a little tricky for my brain to reconcile the fact that Shammy can read a whole book on his own at a second grade level but is still dependent on diapers.  He has already outgrown some of the underwear that we got him and as I start to plan his 4th birthday in a few months I wonder if I will still be having to change his diapers.

potty training


It has been a while so I’ll give a recap… In the last couple of months we moved to a new house. One that is in a (supposedly) safer and quiet community (so quiet that we didn’t hear fireworks on New Years) and is right next to a park. It is a 2 story house villa which I love despite the inconveniences that living in a 2 story unit with kids brings.

One of these inconveniences is that our computers are upstairs while I spend most of my time downstairs with the boys. This meant that every time I felt inspired to write something it didn’t happen because the computer was no longer in the living room like I was used to. To try to remedy that I have a bluetooth keyboard now so I can write on my Kindle Fire without cursing the touchscreen keyboard’s existence.

Babyproofing a set of stairs when renting can be challenging. We have a pressure mounted gate at the bottom of the stairs which although it won’t stop Zen if he is determined to go up, it does work well as a deterrent and keeps them from trying to play on the stairs. The top of the stairs is still open and after 3 months it hadn’t been an issue until last week when Zen figured out how to climb down, at least he did it safely!

At our new house we converted the master bedroom into a computer/play room and chose a secondary bedroom as our sleeping room. This room has wall to wall mattresses on the floor and no other furniture making it the perfect cosleeping space.

Cosleeping heaven- wall to wall sleeping space (pardon the mess)

Cosleeping heaven- wall to wall sleeping space (pardon the mess)

During this time Shammy has made excellent homeschooling process. Since he is only 3 years old I wasn’t pushing any curriculum or lessons, just trying the whole homeschooling thing on for size and it’s been working very well. Shammy is now able to read at a primary school level and is starting to write. I admit to using a lot of technology tools such as ABCMouse for math and social science and Kindle Fire apps for writing. We do reading the old fashioned way though in addition to e-books.

While the holiday season was very enjoyable, it also meant the end of the daycare that the boys were attending 1 day a week while I worked at the WIC office. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to find alternate care but it has turned into a 3 month nightmare. Despite the things we didn’t like about the old daycare we now miss it because it has been so hard to find anything after searching for so long with no luck. Granted, we may have higher standards and a lower budget than some parents but it had never been this hard to find the right match. In the meantime my mother in law has helped out but I can’t count on that as a long term solution and I fear that we may reach the point when I may be faced with having to quit my job (which only has me out of the house 1 day week) because of this.

I did the math and working full time after factoring the cost of daycare and other expenses wouldn’t allow me to provide any extra contribution to the household budget than I do now unless I got a REALLY good paying job, something that doesn’t exists in this area.

Hippie Mom in a Preppy World
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