Hippie Mom in a Preppy World

Posts Tagged ‘baby fox’

I never expected motherhood to turn me into a bigger geek than I already am but that is exactly what has happened.  I started to tinker with a movie creating program to create a dvd for my parents showing some video clips of Shammy since they’re not techie enough for YouTube.  I never would have guessed that I would get so into it that now the project has evolved into a full “history of Shammy” compilation.  It’s got photo slideshows of the pregnancy, the birth and Shammy’s first 3 months, it’s got background music, transition effects, captions and at 15 mins long already I’m not yet done.  The video along with this blog will document Shammy’s early history.  I hope that Shammy will appreciate this legacy that I’m creating for him, I wish my mom had kept a journal or something.

Who knows, perhaps this will just be volume 1 and I’ll create new chapters every few months or so….

I have given up and come to accept the fact that my son is going to be a technology geek, it’s int he genes.  He loves to stare at the computer screen, tap on the keyboard and even figured out on his own how to click the mouse.  When’s he’s fussy he’ll calm down when the TV comes on.  ::sigh::

He’s had a messed up sleep pattern lately, some days he’ll sleep through the night as usual and on other days he’ll decide that 4am is the start of the new day and he is not going back to sleep and wants to be entertained.   Out of exhaustion my husband sat him on his bouncy chair in front of the TV and turned on an infomercial and lo and behold, we got to snooze.  How sad is that?

As of this week I will have been breastfeeding exclusively for 4 months, I admit that at first I didn’t know if I would make it this far.  I am glad that I have and we keep on going strong.

I have finally found my pumping groove.  After struggling for months and dreading the whole process I have worked it out to a smooth routine.  I now pump once a day 1 hour after he goes to sleep for the night and I keep the pump parts in the refrigerator so that I don’t have to disinfect every day.  I’m also increasing the volume of the bags that I freeze for larger servings.

The other night I was preparing a bag to freeze when hubby walks in and asks “what are you cooking?”,  without hesitating I responded “breastmilk, want some?”

A lot of people may cringe but I have actually tasted my milk, I do it regularly too.  No, I don’t steal Shammy’s pumped milk to do shots with.  Instead I lick the drops of milk that fall on my arm during nursing or pumping, most of the time it tastes like vanilla soymilk but I love to notice the change in taste based on what I’m eating.  Shammy’s milk is a heck of a lot more interesting than formula and I do ask him “what would you like in your milk?” when I am trying to decide what to eat.  He gets birthday cake milk on his birthdays.

Since work has been dry for a couple of weeks thus needing less bottles I am finally starting to have the resemblance of a freezer stash.

Shammy got to celebrate his first Thanksgiving, his father insisted on instituting the tradition of having him watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade and see Santa.  Shammy’s act of peaceful rebellion was to conveniently fall asleep 10 minutes before Santa came on and waking up 2 minutes after it ended.

Shammy is now 4 months old!  And to think that I still get pain from the surgery, usually after physical activity.  I still can’t have the elastic in clothing sit on the scar without pain

I’ve had to adjust the straps in his car seat to a larger setting again, it was just over a month ago that I had adjusted it last, wow.

He has outgrown all of his sized diaper covers and I only have 1 one size diaper cover so we are barely using the contour diapers.  I now have a couple of [amazon_link id="B003K1CNBK" target="_blank" ]Fuzzibunz [/amazon_link]one size diapers that I had traded for and I must say that I like them so far.  I like the fact that they come in colors that are not available with Bumgenius such as brown and they are a trimmer fit which works well for clothes that Shammy is about to outgrow.  I also like the sizing adjustment process for them.  I haven’t tried them overnight so I don’t know how well they would hold but I would like to get more in different colors to better coordinate with Shammy’s outfits.

Speaking of diapers, I need a larger diaper pail.  The one that I currently have was designed for disposable diapers emptied daily and instead I use it for cloth diapers washed every other day so it doesn’t quite hold 2 days worth of diapers.  When I start working again I’ll look into getting a kitchen trashcan, that would probably be better for the task.

Despite books and websites repeatedly telling me not to expect Shammy to respond with sign language for several months I am happy to report early success with this approach.  He understands the sign for milk and has been known to use it (his dexterity is still developing so it’s not perfect but understandable).  He has also developed his own sign for “pick me up”.

I’m hoping to learn more signs to incorporate into our interactions.  Books advise to just pick a few signs and teach those but if I can learn more and just use them normally in conversation I don’t see how that could hurt.  What he has learned so far has been from regular “conversations”, I haven’t tried to do sign language lessons, instead I just make the sign whenever saying the word/doing the task and he’s learning by context very well.

And this week’s rant is a 2 part one:

I have been attacked on Facebook for being outspoken about breastfeeding thus making formula moms “uncomfortable”.

Seriously? I am PROUD! I worked really effin hard at this and succeeded!  It wasn’t always easy, I cried, I dedicate a lot of time and energy but it is worth it.  I don’t always enjoy being covered in milk, or pumping on the highway, but I do it. It is the best thing I can do for my son, and I am proud of it.  I am sure we have a zillion things that we don’t agree on in all areas of being a human being. I post things on facebook as a reminder to myself and my dear pregnant friends, that they can do it. I have had more than one pregnant mom tell me that the pro-breastfeeding things I post on facebook has encouraged them and empowered them, so damn-it, I am going to keep on keepin’ on!

I happen to have good friends that are passionate about things that I am opposed to.  I just skip over those posts and I don’t put anything negative, it’s my personal choice.

! It seems like every single time I post something (or a friend posts something) about breastfeeding or circumsicion, at least someone gets offended and acting like I am attacking them directly. Nothing I post on Facebook is aimed towards anyone but myself, and my fellow natural moms who might want to read the same article. If it doesn’t apply to you, or you don’t want to read it, then skip it.   Though I am not as nice as some of my friends, I like to defend myself and I rarely apologize for anything I have said or posted, because again, its NOT aimed at YOU! Get over it!

I have also been attacked for being indescreet in my breastfeeding, I proudly admit to this.  Why do fatty men get to show their boobies (many of which are larger than mine!) but I can’t feed my kid?  If you don’t have to cover up when eating your cheeseburger or go eat it in the bathroom then baby shouldn’t have to do the same to eat his lunch.

Besides, breastfeeding needs to be normalized, not hidden.  Sundae Horn wrote a good essay on this topic on Mothering Magazine and she wrote the “Indescreet Breastfeeding Manifesto” which I happily subscribe to.

Indiscreet Breastfeeding Manifesto

• I will nurse my child anytime, anywhere, no matter who is present or what I am wearing.
• I will bare my breast with pride and confidence.
• I will not apologize for nourishing and nurturing my child.
• I will not smother my child with a napkin or blanket.
• I will smile at everyone around me and ignore rude stares.
• I will know that I am giving my child the perfect infant food from the most efficient, ecological, and economical delivery system.
• I will know that I am giving my child the healthy start that is his or her birthright.
• I will set an example for women and girls, educate the public, dispel breastfeeding myths, desexualize the breast, and make the world a better place, all through the simple act of feeding my child.

I’m not a fan of the performer Pink but I do tip my hat to her for making a powerful statement in her latest video by showing a row of human females pumping milk that is then fed to a young cow.  Powerful analogy for what most people just refuse to think about…

This last week marked the one year anniversary of the digital readout on that plastic stick said “Pregnant”, yet another thing that most moms don’t notice but I did discover that I’m not the only mom that celebrates “silly” things like that.

We’ve gotten enough “OMG your baby is so cute!” comments that Shammy is now in a Cutest Baby Contest, so please go and vote everyday for the next 8 days to help him win.  Click here to vote

Shammy has been laughing for a while now but recently we experience the first delight that is a non-stop giggle/laugh session, it was just too freaking cute.  Specially because his daddy wasn’t doing anything that funny to warrant so much laughter.

I have volunteered to be a mentor mom to another pregnant woman that is due on July 2011, I don’t yet know who I will match up with but I look forward to being able to help someone the way that I would have liked to have been helped while pregnant.

It has also been suggested that I become a Site Administrator and founder of a Treasure Coast chapter of the Mommies Network, at 501c3 nonprofit to help moms network.  It is very tempting but don’t know if I should commit so much time to such a task as it will take about 15 hours a week to get this organization off the ground, we’ll see…

This has been a week of reorganization, in that process I found a large batch of clothes in Shammy’s current size that had been shuffled in his closet.  It’s a good thing that I discovered them now while he can still wear them for at least a couple of weeks.

I also reorganized his cloth diapers, got small baskets at the dollar store to sort the diapers on the shelves under his changing table; night diapers, regular diapers, covers, doublers, contours, prefolds, they all now have a designated place.

Now I just need a larger diaper pail… but I’m managing just find and it’s small size keeps me from procrastinating on the cloth diaper laundry.  I will admit that I LOVE washing cloth diapers and prefer that over any other domestic chore.  I’m so happy that daddy Fox helped install an umbrella drying stand in our backyard and I was giddy with excitement as I watched the first batch of cloth diapers drying in the wind.

I also figured out how to fold his cloth wipes and put them in a recycled wipes container so that they pop out like disposable wipes.  I’m very proud of myself.  I have just enough cloth wipes right now but could use another dozen or 2.  I cut up some flannel receiving blankets but I don’t know how to serge the edges to prevent fraying.  It may be easier to just break down and buy some…

Once I get at least another dozen cloth wipes I’ll be able to ditch the disposable wipes from the diaper bag and there will be one less thing to buy. I absolutely love how we never have to worry about having to go to the store to buy diapers, formula or wipes.  At this rate I plan to make our own baby food as well.

I never thought that I would say this but the dog ate the diaper.  I wasn’t there but I sure would have loved to see that happen.  When grandma was last babysitting Shammy, one of her dogs decided that one of his cloth diapers looked like something fun to chew on, I didn’t see the results but I can only imagine.  Days later I still laugh when I think about it but the dog needs to realize that there are better chew toys than $18 diapers, lol.

This week was the first time that I missed Shammy’s bedtime.  Thankfully it was just a one time thing while I participated in a focus group.  It still sucked coming home and baby was already down for the night.  It was like the first day back to work all over again.

I’m now on the quest for a new pediatrician for Shammy, at least temporarily.  I love Dr. Punger and don’t want to stop using her but she doesn’t accept Medicaid and with me working so few hours I can’t afford to pay cash for visits.  I’m hoping to find a pediatrician that won’t give me a hard time about delayed/ selective vaccinations, considering contacting the doctor that took care of Shammy during his first few days of life as we really liked him.  We’ll see…

On the sign language front, I got a [amazon_link id="B002VH76VQ" target="_blank" ]baby board book on sign language[/amazon_link], it’s very cute but it annoys me that in the sign for milk the picture shows a bottle and a pacifier and in the sign for diaper it shows a stack of disposable.  I can’t blame the author for being mainstream and I’ll learn to live with it.

Onto today’s rant…

Nursing in public prevents angry, screaming babies.  I hate listening to babies cry hysterically.  It’s the worst sound in the world – give me fingernails on chalkboard any day.  Every instinct in my body drives me to find the sound of the screaming child and fix it.   Evolution or God made people that way – we react strongly to the sound of a distressed child, our hormone levels changing, anxiety activated.

If the child is hungry, the solution is simple – feed the baby. I’d so much rather round the aisle in Walmart and see a nursing mom than have to hear her child screaming across the store.

I was about 6 when I first saw a mom nursing, this encounter didn’t repeat itself until I was in my mid 20′s.  My mother claims to have tried to breastfed me but said that I wasn’t interested and refused to latch on.  The nurse said that I was going to starve,  she believed her and formula-fed me.  None of them stopped to consider that I had just been born via c-section and had to recover from being drugged while adjusting to this new bright harsh world.  There was no lactation consultant to help my mother nor did she know to ask for help.

I was in my mother’s place a few months ago, Shammy was also born via c-section and was not interested in the breast for the first few hours.  I didn’t worry and gave him time, when he was ready he latched on and nursed like a champ.  I chose not to worry and rush into an unnecessary bottle.  That is the difference that making sure that I did my homework in advance does in the lack of proper support.

I took a class. I read books.  Why did I have to take a class to learn how to breastfeed? Why did I have to take a class to show me how to latch a baby on my breast?  The answer is simple – I had never seen it, up close and personal.  Is it any wonder how difficult breastfeeding is for most?

If you want to know why so many women attempt to breastfeed and fail, I would say to look there.  They didn’t learn how, when they were 10 and first learning how to care for infants.  Why can’t fathers support breastfeeding moms and give advice?  They never saw it, in real life or on TV.

Here’s the truth.  Babies don’t come with bottles in real life.  They come with boobs.  We are mammals, and mammals breastfeed their young.   You don’t ask the mother cat with kittens to “cover up” – right?  If nursing moms always cover up, little boys and girls have to learn about breastfeeding from a BOOK.

If you only feel comfortable with a blanket and your baby is cool with it, go ahead and use the blanket, but don’t feel like a blanket or the bathroom are your only options.

Babies are people too.  They deserve to eat when they’re hungry. and they deserve to enjoy their meals without a blanket over their heads.  Pretty simple stuff.

“Babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, hippie mama ISO mentor mom”.

If there was a classified service to meet mother friends this would be my headline.  For being a first time mom with no close friends that are mothers I have relied on the internet to help me figure out which way is up in regards to parenting.  I like to think that I’ve been doing pretty good so far but you can’t never know enough.

Thus the reason why I would love to have a mentor mom.  I got this concept from the Rookie Mom blog and I must say that I see great potential in it.

“the most experienced mom is the one who is six to eight months ahead of you in parenthood; any bigger gap than that and they’ve forgotten what you’re going through.”

A six-months-more-seasoned mom has the best you-only-needed-it-for-five-months gear, the best hand-me-downs, and the greatest tips on what mistakes to avoid. She has already researched the playgrounds with the shady benches (and clean bathrooms!) as well as which coffee shops look at you funny if you breastfeed.

When you hit toddlerdom, she’s freaked out about researched preschools before you even thought about it. But, unlike your annoying sister-in-law, she still remembers your nap schedule and why separation anxiety is normal and not a fault of your crappy version of parenting.

How could anyone forget what you’re going through? Isn’t this the most life-changing event ever? Yet now, if a friend hands me her 6-week old so that she can tie her shoe, I think Holy wobbly head! Was my baby ever this small?

Google has been my mentor mom so far and I’m very grateful for it coming through for me whenever I wonder if it’s a growth spurt, teething, or have no clue is going on.  But it’s still good to have human interaction.  I think that is why I enjoy going to La Leche League so much, it’s great to interact with other moms with similar parenting styles.

I feel that It is unnecessary to defend breastfeeding in public. To me, it’s like walking in public. It’s a basic human right.  Sadly the rest of the world doesn’t feel that way and we have to turn to the law to protect this right.  I’m blessed to live in a state that has a law protecting my baby’s right to eat wherever he needs to.

Sadly most people are not aware of this law.  I have gotten the exact state of the Florida statute printed on a laminated card that I carry on my wallet.  I have never had to flash it as someone harassing me, instead I’ve had to show it to other moms that would approach me with the “that’s why I didn’t breastfeed, I wanted to be able to leave the house”.

Since when does breastfeeding your baby entails house arrest?!

As I keep adding to the list of public places that I’ve breastfed, I enjoyed a very interesting experience.  I wanted to avoid being home when the pest control guy came over and I wanted the fumes to dissipate before I brought Shammy back.  This meant that I had to nurse while out so I sat down in the dining area of a local department store and got down to it.  An employee approached me and for a moment I tensed up thinking that she was going to ask me to stop or something but instead she was offering me use of a back room for privacy.  I found that nice of her but I thanked her and informed her that we were just fine in her.  Her response?  “I just didn’t want you to be embarrassed”.  Embarrassed?

“Embarrassed” is probably the least applicable word for breastfeeding in public. Self-conscious, sure, sometimes. Frustrated and fumbling trying to balance the kid while minimizing flesh exposure, yes.  But not embarrassed at all.

To be clear, I don’t care if a woman chooses to cover for personal reasons, but I think it should be up to each mom and babe whether to cover or not. I never cover… never see the need to and Shammy doesn’t like it and makes a fuss if I try. Many times people didn’t know I was nursing. Discretion is key, and can be managed with practice.

Shammy’s biological clock has not adjusted to the end of Daylight Savings Time.  This means that he goes to sleep at 7:30pm which is great to enjoy some relaxation time before bed but it sucks that he’s up at 6am instead of 7.  Hopefully we’ll adapt soon and find a happy medium.

In the growing front, we are now using the Ergo carrier without the infant insert.  Technically it’s supposed to be used until 4-5 months but he already has excellent head control and he enjoys being able to look around.  Plus the carrier is now way easier to use.

Speaking of carriers, I have my original Baby K’Tan for sale along with other slings and some cloth diapers (pockets and covers).  Comment if curious, at some point I’ll post a listing on Under My Crib or Diaper Swappers, gotta finish getting the stash organized and photographed.

And speaking of photographs… Shammy has overcome his papparazzi aversion and instead of trying to grab the camera from my hand will now smile for it.  In 10 minutes I have been able to photograph more smile than in the last month combined.  This is a good time to take him to a photo studio for some portraits.

Is my baby really cuter than others?  I’ve refrained from making a judgment since I’m obviously biased but I have noticed that strangers seem to become rather obsessed with how cute he is.  More so than I would expect.  The other day I was at a consignment store and a customer was showing off her newborn girl, she got a “nice, congratulations!”, they saw Shammy and they start with “oh my good, he’s so cute!”, I even had a little girl, probably 8 years old comment on how cute my baby is.  I felt bad for the other mom that was looking at us with a “what about my baby?” look on her face.

I was approached to submit his photo for a contest to be on the cover of American Baby magazine, as cute as that would be I wouldn’t want my son on the cover of a publication that I disagree with so much.  Now if Mothering magazine is interested that would be a different story, lol.

On the sign language front, I’m gradually introducing signs to Shammy.  I’m keeping it simple emphasizing one sign for now and occasionally sprinkling others during conversation.  I’m using the sign for milk to signify nursing, hoping that when he learns it he’ll use it in public instead of trying to pull my shirt down.  I can tell that he’s intrigued by it, every time I use signs he gets serious and very intent on what is going on as if he is analyzing it.

On the cloth diaper front, I need to get some new covers, Shammy is outgrowing the most frequently used ones (my favorite prints) and I only have 2 one size covers, one of which can be tricky to adjust.  If anybody finds a tie dye cover, send a link my way.